~my ardent apathy~ (too_many_stars) wrote in pplwitprobs,
~my ardent apathy~

  • Mood:

sappy pathetic lil me

Ok..i was/am in a long distant relationship...and i thought i was being lied to cause the guy did mess up but i found out(he met a girl in a chat got drunk and slept with her and regreted it and he's had feeling for another girl once before), so i wasn't sure if he was still being true to me..and that's all i ever wanted, lets call the man i love A. So what do? I figure why should i be sad when he's not being true..so i happen to find someone eles on here and started talkin to them lets call him B..at first it was just jokin around..then i actually started caring for b and he really cared for me, and i thought hmm..maybe i should keep this up until i find out if A is really being true to me..anyways it went to far.. B always knew about A, but A never knew about B until recently..and now A hates my guts and wishes i would die and i hate my guts too considering i just did what i had always feared was being done to me. Anyways..i stopped talking to B for A and i showed him EVERYTHING I SAID TO B even thought i knew it would hurt him and cause him to reall hate me, he wanted to see and i wanted to be truthful, well he does hate me and he wishes i was dead and that he never met me i'm a slut and ignorant bitch to him, but i still LOVE him, i mean i know how i could i even had talked to that other guy for 5months and not let A known about it, i really don't know, and i did umm..well let it get "sexual" i guess..i don't know why..but i fucked up and i hate myself..and i just want A to love me again:(..Do you think he will? Do ou think i should die? i don't even know what i'm asking i'm gettin sick from this..i really regret it..:(
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